Bridesmaids from Hell...
So hopefully it won't happen to you, but if it does, you are not alone. Through all the excitement and attention, we often forget that even in the dreamy world of being a bride, things don't always work out the way we imagined they would. Sometimes your close girlfriends turn out to be duds, and it stinks when you have to figure this out during the planning of your wedding (like it's not already stressful enough, right)? I have dealt with it, and my close girlfriend The Clearance Chick has dealt with it. You google it, and there seem to be a million Yahoo questions, How do I deal with the bridesmaid from hell? So chances are, you, or someone you know will deal with it. Here are some tips...
The Expense Issue...
So many times I have heard issues with one of the girls not getting fitted for her dress. This is a clear sign that either A). she is having financial tightness issues, and being in your wedding is straining her budget, or B) she is just not that interested in being a part. Chances are it is reason A, and first, don't take it personally, and try to be understanding. We often think, "OMG, it's only $200... and you have 5 months to pay it off". True, but that still may be a budget-buster. It doesn't include shoes, travel, accommodations for the wedding, gifts, make-up, hair, nails, rehearsal dinner dress, gym membership (so you don't look like a train wreck in public)... being in a wedding is expensive! And although as the bride you are likely spending a small fortune yourself, don't compare it to your bridesmaid's "dues". Rather, at the first sign of trouble, confront the issue so it doesn't strain your relationship down the road. If she is your friend you can simply ask if it is a stress for her, and if it is, see if she'd rather help you plan the wedding. She can still be a part of your excitment without standing up in the wedding... tell her you just want her to be a part of your big day in whatever capacity she can.
The Attitude Issue...
You have a "best friend" from a zillion years ago, and since you keep in touch of course you ask her to be in the wedding. Words to choke on. Turns out, she kind of sucks in real life. She makes all the other girls feel uncomfortable either by outwardly insulting them when dress shopping, or by being louder, bigger, and badder than she has a right to be. She doesn't acknowledge this is your special day, and she doesn't really bring anything to the table. Really, you'd like to punch her. But you can't. Many brides have this problem and feel like they can't simply kick someone out of the party because, bottomline, that is just not a nice thing to do. Well, don't be nice. She's not playing nice and she's stressing you the heck out! If you are losing sleep over a bridesmaid or you have to play referee, let her know that she has been stressing you out. She may not realize that she is being brash or overbearing, and just mentioning it may result in a quick attitude adjustment. If not, then kick her to the curb and DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT! Tell her that you asked her to be a bridesmaid because you thought you were friends and you wanted her to share in your joy, but it is clear she isn't. Do it with a hilarious card from GoatCards on Etsy. You may just be able to save the friendship with humor.
The Dress Issue...
So you found the perfect dress for your girls, and everyone loves it except for the problem girl. Or one of your gals gets pregnant and can't wear the style, or one of your girls would never be able to pull it off, pregnant or not. The way I see it, what the bride wants, the bride gets. If she wants a horrible gold lame nightmare, I'll sacrifice my dignity as a sign of my undying friendship. However, it is downright mean to make someone self-conscious in front of a bunch of strangers. Not to mention, if one of your girls looks awful in the dress, you will be stuck with that vision forever in wedding pics. Brides: the benefits of accommodating outweigh the costs. You want all your girls to feel pretty (not as pretty as you, of course) but pretty nonetheless. If one of your bridesmaids is just being difficult (i.e. she fell in love with some other dress and is being selfish about it) you have two options: let the girls choose their dress style in the same color, or tell her she would look smashing in that dress at the rehearsal dinner.
You will undoubtedly have issues during the process, but being gracious, kind, and funny when necessary will help you tread the sometimes tumultuous wedding planning waters.
~Happy Weddings!
Tote from FullONuts on Zazzle
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